


Smile?

by FlyingShibaInu



Series: Smiling Minako [1]
Category: Persona 3
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, No Dialogue, No paragraph, Not Beta Read, Smiling depression, my oldest work that survives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2020-01-07 08:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18406658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingShibaInu/pseuds/FlyingShibaInu
Summary: Smile, because that's the only thing she's good at. I'm in a well. They are all coffins. The sky is green. You're by yourself now, so, smile.





	Smile?

**Author's Note:**

> Minako as a child, being by herself with a fake smile. An inner self similar to her other self, and remains on the inside hidden from all.

It hurts, and a little hard to move. These… wires. The bed is hard, harder than the one at home. It's so white. So clean.

Minako was in a hospital room.

She wasn't dead. Why was she here?

She blinked and saw it, a giant yellow moon and a green sky. Black with chains... White with red… A car crash.

… Yes, they were dead.

Weird, she didn't feel sad. Empty, she was usually alone in the house anyway. Work, work, work, she couldn't understand.

Now, she was alone.

She didn't feel nervous being alone.

It rained, all day. Minako loved rain.

Rain cries for her, so she doesn't have to.

 

* * *

 

No one visited her. Somehow she felt that was to be expected.

The light was turned off. The outside was dark too.

She wanted to stay awake. She sat still for a long time. The rain didn't stop. Droplets of water ran down the glass. They were crying for her. That's why she was not sad.

She looked at the clock … three seconds before midnight.

Tick, tock.

Tick-

The room shifted to green, just like the image in her mind.

She looked around. That glass filled with water, the water has turned to blood.

She took a deep breath. Iron.

Yes, the water really has turned to blood. Who knows why, but it is as it is, so she accepted it.

A green room with red water was boring, so she looked outside the window. Her red eyes looked back at her. She was in a light green hospital gown. Her hair was a mess. She was a mess.

The town was deserted. It's quiet and lifeless, except for the sound of crimson rain lashing the rooftop. Minako put her hand on the window. It's cold, cold blood. Her finger trailed up and up to where the big yellow moon was. She then glanced down at the dark street the moonlight shone.

Shining coffins…

Not a single human.

The reflection of Minako smiled back at her.

 

* * *

 

From within a burning car, a second before it exploded, she smiled.

She smiled when she's going to die.

L-?

She mouthed something, but Minako didn't care about that.

Smile… Why did she smile?

 

* * *

 

Pharos, my only friend.

The pajamas kid was in a grey void trapped in a giant cage. He was a prisoner. Minako helped him came out.

He's amnesiac, but he never lies. He smiles a lot.

He confirmed it. Yes, her parents were dead for good.

 

* * *

 

Relatives here and there. Seeing them made her nervous.

What should I do? What should I do?

Smile… She smiled when she's going to die.

Minako smiled and played along with their lies. She smiled and acted like she didn't hear all the laughs and gossips. She smiled and pretended she didn't know the masks are everywhere.

Oh, you want my fortunes. That's why you all are nice to me.

Minako smiled.

Sure, I'll give you what you want. Take them as much as you could.

Someone like me doesn't deserve any of it.

After she gave her distant relatives the fortunes and money and stuff, the visiting was more and more distant from each other. Every day, every week, every month… until they stop coming here altogether.

She's alone again, just the way she wanted it.

Minako smiled.

Now that they're gone, her mind became clear. She looked around. Sweet but empty words… Fake smiles… Aren't they normal?

People are all the same.

 

* * *

 

When it became green, people turned into coffins.

Minako walked around the deserted town, the first thing she did after coming out of the hospital. This town was deserted when it's green, but even when it's not, it's deserted anyway.

The one who didn't turn would melt into black. Are those black things inside everyone?

So they are Blacks. Black is the black, icky thing, crawling and crawling.

But why was she here, in this place? In this space-time of something not known to other people?

So she was not normal.

No. Shut up. Don't say that.

 

* * *

 

At school, things changed.

When no one cares, she acted normal.

They avoided her. Good.

They mocked her. She shrugged.

They slapped her. She sent them a grin.

She's okay. She's fine.

She gave them money. She let herself be used. She stayed behind.

Minako accepted it all with a smile.

You're weird, their faces screamed those words.

The bullies were gone. Everyone avoided her.

Good.

 

* * *

 

Pharos liked it when the moon was big. Big and bright. She, too, started to like it this way.

Coffins don't talk, and they couldn't think.

It's the time she could be left alone for good.

Minako grabbed his hand and danced.

 

* * *

 

Normal girls smile and talk a lot, right? Then I will.

So that I could blend in. They will think I'm normal.

She's not worth remembering, only a normal girl.

Normal things are easily forgotten. She wanted to be forgotten.

 

* * *

 

She read mangas and watched animes.

She forgot everything easily that way.

She listened to music, too.

She could act natural that way.

Her parents…

They were good people, but she felt like she didn't know them enough.

Something's missing. Something's not right.

Though it doesn't matter now, does it?

 

* * *

 

Minako walked under the green sky and over the bridge. She found a tower.

There were some scientists. They asked her questions.

She smiled and shook her head.

They let her sat at the entrance and they walked around the tower lobby.

One of them turned to black, and he crawled. People became panicked and ran.

But that was also them. That will be them. They wanted to be a human, but they could be a black thing. They could be a coffin.

They forget such simple things.

Humans are weird. Weird...

 

* * *

 

His grandparent asked her if she wanted to go live with them.

A happy family?

She refused with a smile.

She was alone. She wanted to be alone. She didn't deserve it.

No one should be with me.

 

* * *

 

Pharos said he's lonely, and he wanted to see the world.

So Minako traveled, almost every year. There's no reason not to.

Pharos said he wanted to be free.

So I'll set him free. That's my life goal from now on.

Think about yourself, Minako.

No, never. There is nothing left.

 

* * *

 

Humans are better at forgetting than remembering. They forget a lot of things, especially good memories. Bad ones stay longer, so she must be good. She must be nice in the eyes of others. Minako must smile.

Have you heard of a frog in a well?

I think I'm in a well.

I hear nothing. No one hears me.

I see nothing. No one sees me.

No one could help me. I never try to climb.

They peek in, and I smile.

 

* * *

 

When she stopped smiling, people became weird.

Are you okay? Are you alright?

No, no. Don't ask me that. Don't make that face.

I'm fine. I'm okay.

I'm sorry. That blank face… I shouldn't have done that.

No matter what, I must smile.

Are you okay… I don't know the answer, so I smile.

Walk away and forget me. That's all I ask.

 

* * *

 

It was the only thing she's good at. Aside from that, what could she do?

It was always there. It hurts. Deep inside.

Pitying eyes. Hateful eyes...

Don't look at me. Forget me!

Please don't come near me, I'm begging you with a smile.

 

* * *

 

You should seek help, Minako.

Why did you say that, Pharos? It's fine.

You're not fine.

Shut up. Don't say that.

Minako walked around in the green world. Pharos walked closely behind. She loved the yellow moon. It never betrays her, always come to greet her every day.

Black things crawled and crawled, but they never bothered her.

Coffins stayed the same. They were all the same.

And when it rains, she feels happy. Rain is crying blood for her, so she doesn't have to.

 

* * *

 

Being with people is easy. Smile a lot and everything will be fine.

They say sorry. They look awful. I smile. All forgiven.

Guilt, what is that?

I do wrong. I smile. I say sorry. All forgiven.

Dwell with the past, why would you?

Forget everything. Let others forget you.

And you'll never have to worry about a thing.

And no one will ever worry about you.

 

* * *

 

The green sky, it happened around the world. The hour when the moon was most bright. When everything became peaceful.

The hour that she felt most at home, at peace. Away from the other world.

 

* * *

 

Being in so many places, people probably forgot about her by now. No one remembers me. That's a wonderful thing.

You can't benefit anything by being close to someone. What you get is pain.

You hurt each other like it's normal. You overlook each other because you are too close, so close that you take each other's presence for granted.

Rather be strangers to each other. Not knowing each other. Life is easier that way.

 

* * *

 

Don't want to talk to annoying people. Smile.

Don't want to take the blame and responsibility. Smile.

Don't want to be bothered. Smile.

The more time she spent being in a well, the more she liked it here. She sank down deeper and deeper. It felt great leaving everything behind.

She smiles. They think she's okay, and they'll stop looking at her.

Good.

 

* * *

 

Ten years. She had gone to many places, and she had learned many things.

One thing she had learned was that everyone was coffins.

Just like the coffins in the green world, you can talk to them and have some fun, then you can walk away.

People are coffins. And when they are not, they are black.

Black, icky, miserable thing.

 

* * *

 

Gekkoukan High, Iwatodai…?

Yeah. She'll go there. There's no reason not to.

Everything had lost their reasons a long time ago.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't see Minako as an innocent girl. I can't see her as a thug or tomboy either. To me, she's something like Minato but just on the inside. (She knows how to fake a smile) Sorry girl.
> 
> Some faithful readers might remember me trying to write a Minato version of this. I would say it didn't work out. With Minato being Minato, he would pretty much try to stop caring and become numb altogether, and I can't make that interesting. Somehow, I feel like Minako being Minako has this dynamic thing that could be played. Minato would be screaming "Find me!" And for Minako it would be "Forget me!"


End file.
